27 March 2009

Dreadlock Holiday

"I say,
I don't like cricket - oh no,
I love it,
I don't like cricket - no no,
I love it,
Don't you walk thru my words,
You got to show some respect,
Don't you walk thru my words,
'Cause you ain't heard me out yet."

Or so said 10cc back in 1978.

Once wise words, but tonight, I'm pretty sure if I don't like it, in fact I'm rather disgruntled with the whole sorry affair.

Home from work with a couple of brews on board I fancy watching a bit of the second One Day International between the proud inventors of the game, and the Windies.

And what do I find? England all out for 117, and Windies sailing on 91-0

When did we get quite so shit? (Australians need not answer, it was a rhetorical question - however you may need to look up 'rhetorical' in a dictionary)

I know we did very poorly in the Test series, but I blame the pitches (or lack of). When we could bat, so could they. The only reason we won the first one dayer was because their coach (an Aussie), failed to understand the Duckworth-Lewis system (something to do with how many Coronation Street/Inspector Morse DVD's the opposing team can get through whilst it's either pissing it down, or too dark to be able to see which part of he seam to rub grit into), and pulled the Windies off (stop sniggering at the back) before they'd seen all the directors commentaries and making of featurettes.

WICKET!!!......oh fuck, what does it matter.....98-1.....

Mrsslippy has cunningly managed to procure tickets for an England v Australia one dayer, and I am already very afraid of the potential humiliation that we will be able to witness first hand.

A quick look at the BBC website informs me that Freddie was C&B for a duck on his return from injury, and KP only made 3. If memory serves, that's 17 in the first ODI and 12 in the second. If plotted on a graph, I reckon next time he'll score -1. Good luck with that Kev.

WICKET!!!...last chance recovery! They've only got 27 overs and 8 wickets spare to beat us...

Or not. All over before I could even be arsed to look back at he keyboard.

I don't like cricket - oh no

I despise it to the very core of my blackened, disillusioned heart.

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