Marmite

Hoorah I'm home, and what better way to celebrate than some Marmite on toast?

I'm very much like a jar of Marmite, not because you either love me or hate me, but because I smell of yeast and have sticky brown residue around my rim....

Only joking, but I do love Marmite. Everyone should. Unless they hate it, which is kind of ok, as long as you have a strong opinion one way or the other.

Marmite - I'm kind of indifferent is not an option.

Love it, love it, love it. Missed it, missed it, missed it.

We couldn't even get decent toast, let alone the yeasty goodness that goes on top.

But perhaps more important that the actual Marmite itself, is how it is prepared. This is a contentious issue, and I'm sure Mrsslippy will disagree, but here is how to make perfect Marmite on toast.

Firstly, the bread. It must be white, and it must not be plastic pre-sliced rubbish. A quality split tin or crusty bloomer it must be.

The bread should be sliced to a thickness of no less than 8mm, but anything up to 20mm is acceptable. Any thicker than that and it may not fit in the toaster, or will be still too cool on the inside when the outside is cooked.

It should be toasted for just long enough to have taken a golden colour all over, but with definitely no carbonisation. Think polished oak, not mahogany.

On removal from the toaster prop one slice up against each other to cool for around 30 seconds, as if building a tower of cards. If you butter it straight away, it will be too hot and all the butter will melt. If you lay the toast flat to cool, the steam will make the underside slightly soggy.

Butter.

Not spread, or marge, or Olivio.

Proper, harden your arteries and lift your cholesterol, butter.

The butter should be kept in a cool, but not cold. If used straight out the fridge, it will be too cold and you risk damaging the delicate golden surface of your toast. If at room temperature, it will melt too quickly and the toast will go soggy. It should be firm enough to slice, because that is what you will need.

A slice of butter.

From a standard 500g packet of butter you will need a slice around 4mm thick for each piece of toast.

Drop this onto the middle of the toast, and smear, not spread, smear the butter in no more than four strokes of the knife. You are not trying to create an even layer from edge to edge, but to have ridges that you can sink your teeth into, and little bare patches that remain all crispy toast.

Now, and only now can you open the Marmite.

You will need enough to cover the knife blade half way along.

This should now be applied to the toast it the same manner as the butter, in a 'drop & smear' manner, so the toast is a marbled brown and yellow slab.

The resulting affect will be toast heaven. Crisp on tyhe underside, and fluffy in the middle.

The top will have small crunchy bits to it, thick dollops of Marmite, little pools of melted butter where it has been spread thinly, and lumps of cold hard butter where it is still in it's sliced format.

Absolutely perfect.

Serve with a steaming mug of tea, and settle back to watch TV. The Sky+ has only 4% left on it - I guess Slippy Towers will be mostly catching up on missed shows this weekend......