25 May 2009

Uncomfortably Numb

Having hands like two balloons may have been the epitome of comfort and numbness to Messers. Waters and Gilmour, but to be honest, I think it's overrated.

Maybe it's because only one hand is affected, and I need both to be balloon like to experience the alleged pleasure it devolves.

Some fucking creature bit me yesterday morning. I don't know what, as I neither saw nor felt the assault. I just noticed a small white itchy lump as I was pootling around. It could have come from the garden - I'd been out for an hour doing a spot of watering and weeding. It could have been a stowaway from Brazil - I'd been poking around in the suitcases. It could have been just some double hard bastard mozzy that spiked me as I slept, and I just didn't notice the lump until I'd been up for a couple of hours.

All I know is, it has definitely disagreed with me. My hand has slowly ballooned, whilst getting redder and redder.

If I clench my fist (sort of - the skins too tight to do it properly), the skin blanches, and the surface looks blistered and burnt.

It even seems to be tracking up my arm. If it hasn't improved in the morning, I think a trip to the GP's might be in order.

I've seen too many (or not enough?) films to speculate on what might be bubbling away under my skin.

Whilst Alien chestbursters tend to grow in the chest, how fucking cool would it be to have one of them fly out the back of your hand? And I've not been in any teleporters recently, so the chances of me turning into Slippyfly are also a bit slim.

More likely it's just some mutant plague, or the larvae of some exotic insect that will consume me from the inside out.

Whatever it is, there's one thing that's certain, the top layer of skin is so fucked it's going to slide off in some sort of horrible mess during the next couple of days, and if I'm lucky, I'll get to keep my arm. I hope so, as I'm rather attached to it. I don't mind typing one handed, but I can't hit Ctrl-Alt-Del if the fucking laptop crashes.

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