02 May 2009

Surviving the Apocalypse

My favourite post apocalyptic society has always been one overrun with Zombies.

Whether brought about by mutated viruses (28 Days Later, I am Legend, Last Man on Earth), nuclear fallout (Return of the Living Dead, Class of Nuke'em High), or just....because....(Shaun of The Dead, Night of the Living/Dawn/Day of the Dead), nothing keeps the average man more occupied in a society bereft of citizens, that a few walking dead getting in the way and generally making an inconvenience of themselves.

But it looks like I'm going to have to make do with a Mad Max style post apocalypse, where there are a few less people, everything is a bit shit, and mullets are mandatory.

Sadly, no Zombies to keep as pets, or take pot shots at from the vantage of a shopping centre roof.

Get scared people, because it WILL happen.

I just heard on the radio that sneaky Mexican flu is now hiding on lift buttons. Just typical. Any good old fashioned English flu would have taken the stairs, but you know Mexicans.....

And apparently it can kill you TO DEATH. I may have jacked in nursing for the moment, but I recall enough from my training to remember that this is generally a very bad thing that it is quite hard to get better from.

So before you end up in a Burrito Bodybag, get prepared!

Mrsslippy and I have spent the day ensuring that when the country goes into meltdown (because they are too lazy to take the stairs), we can be completely self sufficient.

For today we gave mostly been in the garden, and will not be caught out when the world suddenly can't get hold of a decent Mexican Meal.

Planted out we have onions, tomatoes, jalapeno and romano peppers, and a selection of herbs and spices that should keep us sorted until the fuss dies down.

And strawberries for dessert. Yum.

I've already filled the fridge with sausages, so I just need to buy about twelvety bottles of Tequila, then the rest of the world can go rot, and then Mrsslippy and I will walk downstairs and rule whatever remains.

Oh, and the advert on the telly also says, phones are Tijuana Toxic too.

Thank fuck I will be safe.

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