On and on and on....

Greek mythology tells us of Sisyphus, a King punished by the ancient Gods to forever push a boulder to the top of a mountain. Once at the top it would roll back down, and he would be forced to start again.

Pretty stupid if you ask me. You'd think after the first couple of times he'd say "You know what Zeus? Fuck you. This is pointless. I ain't pushing no boulder no more. It's staying right the fuck where it is. You want it at the top? You do it you big beardy cock. This is the very definition of futility".

"No" would say Zeus. "This is the definition of a Sisyphian task. I have named it especially for you, and from this day forth, anyone who finds themselves in an endless task will for ever think of you."

"No" would say Sisyphus "From this day forth they will most likely think of the Forth Bridge, and the endless task of painting it".

"If that is so, it is because they are uneducated wankers, with no knowledge of Greek mythology" Zeus would reply. "I believe man will always remember your name, and the toils it suggests".

"Prove it dickwad.."

"I will! In 3000 years time, when work is done by machines powered by lightning, and the sky's are filled with rain even in the middle of summer, I shall pick a man and a task, and see if he remembers you.....now back to your boulder monkey man."

*****cue lots of wavy lines to signify the passing of time*****

Cheers for that Zeus.

Every day when I feel like I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel, of the bottom of my pile of papers, someone drops another stack on top, and I'm back staring at the computer screen, repeating the same action over and over.

It may not be a back breaking, blister breeding boulder, but I have worn a little hole on my wrist from the same repetitive movements with the mouse.

And when I look at that wound, I think of Sisyphus.

But not because I am not an uneducated wanker. My knowledge of Greek mythology is rudimentary at the best, but I do remember Sisyphus. Not because I studied it at school, but because I was fortunate enough be exposed to the fantastic 'Ulysees 31' as a child.

An early 80's Franco-Japanese anime series, it transposed the story of Ulysees/Odyseus to the 31st century, where our brave hero travelled the Universe in a spaceship with only his irritating son, a blue alien, and a little gay robot for company. The rest of the crew being dead, and hanging around in suspended animation until he can find 'the Kingdom of Hades'.

Each week he would encounter another character from Greek mythology, all whilst dressed like one of the Bee Gees in a space suit. And thus my education in 'the classics' would be complete.

In Episode 5 (of 24), he met the erstwhile Sisyphus. I know this as FACT because Mrsslippy managed to find the boxset on ebay last year. For those of you who have never seen it, or it is just a distant memory, you're in for a treat. Here's the entire Sisyphus episode courtesy of YouTube.



So next time you think you're stuck with a never ending task, just sing the theme tune, and everything will be alright.

Altogether now, Ulysees, Ul-y-se-ees. Soaring through all the gal-ax-ee-heees....

I made you this...

More musical musings today.

After reading several good reviews on line, I decided that I was long overdue having a closer look at Spotify

Streaming music really has come a long way. Spotify has a library of 3.8 million tracks, and although there are apparently some big artists missing, it found everything I was looking for. And unlike iTunes where you can listen to just an excerpt from a track before deciding if you want to buy it, with Spotify you can listen to the whole song - hell, you can listen to the whole album.

You can queue up tracks to play, or just create playlists that you can listen to again and again, or send to others via Facebook or by sending the URL.

What you can't do, is copy the music onto a CD or mp3 player. But if you're just sat at home and fancy listening to Now! 72, then you can. If you can tolerate a short advert every 4 or 5 songs, it's completely free. If that bothers you, you can pay 99p for an advert free day, or a tenner a month to never hear an advert again. WIN.

If you're a bit geeky like me, you can hook up your computer to the surround sound, and it's like having your own radio station with 3.8 million tracks at hand.

But that's not the real selling point for me, it's the ability to make playlists and distribute them by the wonder of teh interwebs.

It's the mix tape of the future.

I don't have to sit by an old tape deck, patiently listening to each song as it copies. A pile of other music sat next to the stereo waiting it's turn to be added. Carefully writing the tracklist onto the cassette inlay, listening as you create. A mix tape was something special (or at least you hoped so), because there was a finite amount of space on the tape, everything had to be carefully selected. It had to be listened to in order, and you hoped the recipient understood that selection and creation took hours. It was special.

iTunes made things easier. I don't have to walk all the way to the shelves and start rummaging through CD's. Everything is already ripped to the hard drive. If I want to make a mix CD I just drag and drop files, and then burn it. You have to take a bit of consideration of how the recipient will play it. If they can play mp3s off a CD you can stick loads on, but if not, you're restricted to burning it at 78 minutes max.

But now there is Spotify.

And because I love you very much, I have made you a mixtape.

I like a good cover version, but am also quite partial to a bad one also, so on this very special mixtape you can expect to find a bit of both...

If you've never heard William Shatner and Joe Jacksons unique interpretation of Pulps 'Common People', you're in for a treat.

There are some pretty obvious ones. No mixtape of covers could be complete without Johnny Cash's haunting rendition of Nine Inch Nails 'Hurt'.

And there's stuff that is more famous in it's covered version that you may have never even heard the original - but that's not going to stop me chucking The Damneds 'Eloise' on.

And if you manage to stick it out to the end - get ready for Queensryche "doing" 'Scarborough Fair'. As I type Simon and Garfunkle must be busy digging themselves a shallow grave so they can dive in and have a damn good spin.

To listen to your mixtape, click here , and if you really love me, you could always make me one back.

Or just send one to someone you genuinely care about.

Big Bang Theory

Much as Mrsslippy and I enjoy watching enormously funny Big Bang Theory, I sometimes worry that she sees a little too much of me in some of the characters, particularly Sheldon.

Fair enough, I may have a few nerdy tendencies, but have conclusive proof that I am nothing like the caricatures of geekdom that grace the screen...

1. They all own padded dressing up costumes based on DC Superhero 'The Flash'. My padded Superhero Costume is Batman, who is also from DC comics.
2. They spend a lot of time playing video games, and are obsessed with playing Halo. I am not. It makes me motion sick. I much prefer to play Resident Evil, Doom, any of the Lego themed stuff, Super Bros. Smash Brawl, or anything based in the Star Wars Universe.
3. They think Captain Kirk walks on water. He doesn't. Jean Luc Picard does.
4. They are such creatures of habit that they have a Chinese meal every Thursday. We don't. We have fajitas every Friday. And fish and chips every Saturday lunchtime
5. They play Boggle in Klingon, which I wouldn't be able to do. Well not win it anyway, as the only Klingon I know is HIja (yes), ghobe' (no), and Ka'Pla!
6. They have stacks of comics kept in plastic bags to protect them. Only my Fantastic Fours and V for Vendettas are in plastic bags. The rest are well thumbed, as are my graphic novels.
   
7. They've got a couple of telescopes in their flat. I only have one.
8. They have several laptops dotted around their flat, I only have three, and one is pretty dead , and another pretty unreliable (but if I need to get on the internet and Mrsslippy is on the good one, I can still use my phone, my Wii, or my DS )
9. They play World of Warcraft, which I haven't played for nearly a year (after nearly 1500 hours of game play)
10. Sheldon refuses to accept Loop Quantum Gravity theory as a method of unifying quantum mechanics, insisting on String Theory, whereas I am happy to consider both of them as possible concepts.
11. None of them have the coordination to play any team sports, whereas I am great at.......oh fuck it.....you've got me bang to rights on that one.
12. I HAVE A REAL GIRLFRIEND

Yes Mrsslippy, as if the other 11 reasons (ok, 10 because of the sport one) weren't reason enough, you are the living, breathing proof that I am not a lonely sad geek.


I'm a happily attached sad geek.

Lost on Lost

I'm really enjoying the latest series of Lost, and that's series as in not season. There are only three things that come in seasons - weather, football, and cricket.

So the series cracks on with more twists and turns than a Trinidadian cricket ball, although to be fair that's not saying much since another flat pitch is producing no movement on the ball, and another dull draw is on the cards.

No, the series cracks on with more twists and turns that Andy Proudlock destroying Lincolns defence to complete his hatrick, and end the game at Grimsby 5-1 Lincoln. Probably about as believable too, except the latter really did happen.

We all have our theories as to what is happening, so here goes with where we're at so far...

Richard Alpert is key. We have seen him at several times over the islands existence. He is always the same age. Last night we saw him in 1974 coming into the Dharma camp. He could cross the sonic barrier, and told Horace 'we can cross it without problems' (or words to that effect). We as in The Others, or we as in something else?

At the start of the show we saw a large statue from behind when Sawyer et al. jumped to what we assume was many,many years ago. The early inhabitants of the island worshipped a God. Was it an ancient race of Gods? Was Richard one of them? Is that why he doesn't age, and appears to wear eyeliner like an ancient Egyptian? We've seen lots of Ankh symbols. Are they red herrings?

Maybe when the islanders move back in time they don't age until they catch up with what their real age is.

The fact we don't see the statues face is clearly because it's going to be a big reveal, and probably someone we know. But the person it most resembles from behind is Sawyer.....I feel a planet of the Apes moment coming on. I think we've seen this statue again in 'present time', but only one foot remains, and it only had 4 toes. Keep an eye out for Sawyers feet....

We're led to believe that timelines are fixed and you cannot change history. Maybe you can, maybe it has already been changed countless times, but as with relativity, it is shown from the characters current perspective, so it will always seem fixed as viewed by them.

But Desmond has seen the future. He has gone back in time many times, and relived his life over and over in a Groundhog Day existence. he doesn't remember everything, but each time he he changes something, fate finds a way to reset everything as it should be. He had seen Charlie die several times before he finally bit the bullet in the submarine.

When the plane crashed this time, it was another Groundhog moment. The flashbacks to characters back stories are irrelevant, hence medical histories (paralysis, cancer etc..) have not necessarily presented themselves in this version of history, hence are now gone. Fate keeps pulling them to where they need to be.

Something terrible has happened on the island in the future, and Ben, Jim Robinson, and Richard keep going back to try to stop it. The more they tinker the worse it gets. Sayer ends up going back thousands of years and becomes a God....


He's currently using the name La Fleur, as in the flower....


The flower is a hint to the Orchid station - the main control centre for moving the island through time....


Orchid come from the Greek meaning of testes...


OF COURSE!!!!


ITS ALL BOLLOCKS!!!

Evil Mastermind or Masterchef?

Never in the field of entertainment have so so many scallops bravely laid down their lives for the sake of television.

After innumerable dishes by some of the finest (and worst) amateur cooks in the country, we have a winner who doesn't strictly come from this country anyway. Suspicions are that he comes from New Zealand, but if you listen closely he gives himself away. He's from Mongo.

The 2009 Masterchef winner is none other than Ming the Merciless.

After being impaled on an Ajax war rocket, rather than dying, he relocated to Dorset with dreams of opening his own fish restaurant, which is no doubt part of some insidious plan to take over the earth.

If I were Rick Stein I'd watching my back. Already established as the nicest fish chef in the UK, Ming no doubt plans to supplicate him, enabling him to appear on every TV show going, a forum from which he will use to indoctrinate us into eating fish, which he will somehow genetically modify to fill us full of his mind control drugs.

But I'm not fooled by that 'butter wouldn't melt' smile and proclivity for the waterworks. The man is pure evil.

Take for example his starter. Rabbit and nettles. A cute little bunny rabbit, trimmed into tiny pieces that the worlds greatest vivisectionist would envy, then serve it on a bed of nettles???

His main? Spider crab thermidor with mussels, foraged sea vegetables and a
side of chips. Crabs are evil. And foraged sea vegetables? Foraged? As in rummaging through bins and stuff? And chips? For fucks sake, you can't go on the Masterchef final and cook chips, unless John Torode and Gregg Wallace are already under your control....

They must be. If they were still human, would they shout like that all the time? Or spout the same bollocky superlatives every other breath?

Clearly they are facsimiles, automatons, gollums or other such zombies under the control of Ming.

And for dessert? Creamy lavender and blackberry mousse with honeycomb and
blackberry sauce. I haven't quite worked out what his evil plan is with this one, but then that's why he's an evil Mastermind. In fact, I'd expect to see him on that pretty soon. Either him or the girl from University Challenge, who is also clearly not of this earth.

I'm going to miss Masterchef now it's finished. Ming has clearly cast his spell on me, and despite the shouting, even Torrode and Wallace will create a (large) void with their absence.

True, the best bits are really the opening rounds where you try to guess who will go through before they even pick up a knife, and be amazed at some of the shite that some people try to pass off as food.

So well done Ming, you've been a joy to watch, and a deserved winner (even if you did do it with mind control. And at least smuggy bignose or beardy can't shave properly didn't win.













Mat Follas - Deserved Masterchef winner 2009