14 July 2009

A little bit gay

63% Hetero

Along with writing a Blog of mine very own, I also subscribe to several others. It's easy peasy Japanesey. I use 'Reader' from those oh so clever people at Google, and whenever someone posts something new, they all get sent to my Reader page via an RSS feed, and I can sit and peruse the less important things in the world while drinking my morning coffee.

One such Blog belongs to Andrew Collins, journo, and collaborator with Richard Herring on the highly amusing and often wholly innapropriate Collings and Herrin Podcast

Today, Andrew was encouraging Twitter users to check out a website that would check their heterosexuality, based on words used in their tweets. Andrew was a very effete 34%, due to words such as 'Karaoke', 'Fame', 'Cottaging', and rather bizarrely, 'Northampton'.

Got to be worth a go, and as you've no doubt guessed, I am a very metrosexual 63% .

Words that I use too often to stop me being 100% real man were; 'bum', 'shop', 'good work', 'drag', and 'master'.

You don't have to be a Twitter user, just know the name of a Twitter user in order to check, so next up comes Mrsslippy - but apparently she doesn't use 'cliche' words so it couldn't score her.

What, like that old cliche, "Northampton"?

Gingerfeck, it turns out, also doesn't use cliche words so couldn't be scored.

My next favourite current Twitterer is none other than Mr Cricket himself, David 'Bumble' Lloyd. I've only recently discovered that Bumble likes nothing more than to listen to a bit of The Fall, or Inspiral Carpets on his way to work. What a top man - but is he a ladies man or a ladyboy?

Bumble rather impressively scores an 81%, let down by using words like 'brilliant', 'pink', and 'biscuit', and talking about Shirley Bassey.

So I'm more of a man than Andrew Collins, and less so than Bumble. I'd best check some of the interwebs top tweeters and see if these scores are representative of the population as a whole, and what words mark you down....

Jimmy Carr? 75% 'Bender', 'pride'

Mike Skinner? 54% 'Coming out', 'sauna'

Andi Peters? 33% 'Gym', 'Bruno'

Philip Schofield? 53% 'Milk', 'Madonna'

Jonathon Ross? 63% 'Another way'

Chris Moyles? 60% 'Body', 'bits'

Stephen Fry? 56% 'Opera', 'bitch'

Richard Bacon 39% 'Available'

So there you have it. Bumble is officially the manliest man on Twitter.

Jimmy Carr is more macho then me, but he's the only other one. Me and Jonathan Ross are snuggled up together with matching manbags on 63%.

Stephen Fry is more hetero than Phillip 'Mr Ice Dancing' Schofield and Mike 'The Streets' Skinner. Dry your eyes mate.

And finally, coming up everyone's rear, it's Andi 'Broom Cupboard' Peters......who'd have guessed that one.

Hours of fun - but only if you're on Twitter. Go on. Sign up. How else are you going to find out that Andi Peters might be ever so slightly a whoopsie?

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