26 June 2009

Death of a nonce

Everywhere I look on the TV or internet I'm deluged with hype about the death of Mr Michael 'Wacko Jacko' Jackson; Prince of Pop, misunderstood genius, and all round nonce.

So if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

With his special talents, he touched us all. He touched men and women, black and white. He touched the elderly, and he definitely touched children.

I won't say I'm pleased he's dead. I'm not that heartless. There are a few people upon I do wish a slow and painful death; Robert Mugabe, Nick Griffin, Kim Jong-il, John Barrowman could all shuffle off this mortal coil right now as far as I'm concerned and the world would be a better place without them.

But I shan't mourn his loss either. For every person in the country who's glad he's gone, there's another wailing down a tv camera lens at some mass gathering, spangly glove and spangled brain. Inconsolable, and happy to share that fact with any news network that likes a loony.

"He was beautiful- just beautiful" they'll squeal, mascara running down their puffy tear stained faces. And that's just the men.

Er........no - he wasn't beautiful. Not emotionally nor physically. He was just a fruit loop who (ably assisted by Quincy Jones) knew how to knock out a tune.

"You just didn't know the real Michael" they howl.

No, I'll concede them that. But then neither did they. We based all our perceptions on the man on what the media has told us, rightly or wrongly. Those who did get close to the man either won't, or in the case of Jordy Chandler, can't talk about their 'special private moments'. The latter following a reputed $20m out of court settlement to 11 year old Jordys family.

"Think of those three poor children he's left alone" they cry.

Just three that he left alone? That's showing great restraint Mikey.....
But I am thinking of his children. True, they might miss their father - if they really even know who he is. Who knows what kind of relationship they had with him. I'm not suggesting any impropriety, just that it wasn't a 'normal family'.

A lot of his supporters have explained away his random behaviour with the fucked up relationship he had with his own father, and a childhood in the media spotlight. What on earth are we to expect Prince Michael, Paris Michael, and Prince Michael II (aka Blanket) to turn out like?

So while the camp that swears he's the victim of media hysteria and never done anything wrong in his life, and those that despise him rub their hands together with glee, the rest of us email and text the countless amusing jokes that cropped up within minutes of the news breaking.

Neither happy nor sad, just a bit indifferent. And bothered by which of their favourite TV shows are going to get bumped in order to show documentaries, homages, and biopics of the once great weirdo.

Some fucker will probably even show 'The Wiz'....

And it won't be long before the conspiracy theorists all come out the woodwork too.

I'm already curious as to what will happen to the revenue from the ticket sales from a sold out 50 date residency at the O2. If you bought one, good luck getting your money back, although I suspect a lot of people will hang on to theirs as a ghoulish piece of memorabilia, or flog it for even more on ebay.

The promoters probably have it covered by insurance anyway, so they get quids in whether people return their tickets or not. There's a big pile of cash sitting around somewhere, and a lot of people wanting their slice of it.

And amongst all the furore, the rest of the todays news has been pushed to one side, so sadly, in Michaels chemically bleached shadow, Farrah Fawcett has also died.

Charlie, somewhere in Heaven there's a real angel with big 70's hair.

R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett. February 2, 1947 – June 25, 2009


  1. I agree with all of that Mark

  2. this all seems like a waste of time to me, so he's dead, who cares, just enjoy the music if you like it