It's not mine. Oh no! This is not one of those 'I've got a friend who....' stories that people tell when they're really talking about themselves., This is most definitely not about me, and despite the fact that this friend has put this out to a group of us on Facebook, just in case he doesn't want it to be completely public, let's call him 'Quentin'.
Earlier this week, 'Quentin' sent this email out to a group of male friends via Facebook.
"Let me tell you all about my terrible nightmare I had. I was rudely awakened at 5am yesterday by some horrific and extremely vivid images.I've not anonymised Ali. It's not his fault he was dreamt about, and it also clears him up from being the actual dreamer.
Let me explain. We (the boys) were all on a drinking sesh on some kind of balcony overlooking a park (bit like Eton Park I suppose).
We all then looked over the balcony to see a naked bloke lying down on the grass with none other than Ali (also naked) squating over him having gay arse sex. It was at this point that I woke up so I don't know what else he was doing?
Now, I am livid that I had this dream for two reasons.
1, I have seen Ali taking it up the bot and enjoying it.
2, After telling (Quentins wife) this story, she called me gay for having the dream?!?!? How is that the case when it was clear that it was Ali getting smashed up the bot?!?!
I would be keen to hear your thoughts?!?!"
So what do you do when you get an email like that from a old friend?
I'm no expert on dream interpretation, and I'm not about to start sticking "Dream + friend + gay sex" into Google, as I very much doubt I'll get an explanation, but would probably get some very graphic demonstrations of what dear 'Quentin' was storing deep in his subconscious.
Suggestions from those of us that responded included;
"I am confused. From your description of your desired fantasy you have Ali squatting over someone having gay arse sex.
Therefore Ali is clearly the bot-smasher rather than the smashee. And we all know it is better to give than to take.
To summarize - you am gay."
"O......K....well I've got some things to be getting on with thanks for sharing that with us......I think?"And-
"I have three suggestions;
a) You want to watch Ali in a wrong sex act
b) You want Ali to bum you
c) You want to sodomise him yourself..
.. and all three while we are all forced to watch you.
I concur with teh honourable Stevo.
You are a friend of Dorothy. She is your very bestest friend.
Gayer." from me.
'Quentin' responded thus;
"I can't believe you are taking sides against me?!?! I am comfortable and happy with my sexuality and I only wish you could have seen Ali's happy face, then you would realise that it is in fact Amis who is the gayer and not I."So who's right?
Is happily married father of four Ali the bum bandit, and it is only through 'Quentins' special dream powers that we know this?
Or perhaps 'Quentin' is a little bit more in touch with his feminine side than he'd care to admit to .
Anyone care to add their thoughts on the matter?