Britain's Got Talent

Another series of BGT comes to a close, and despite having watched none of it, I'd still like to throw my two penneth into the ring having been exposed to the circus vicariously through Twitter, enough so to make me tune in for the last 15 minutes to see who won.

There's been rumours flying around the interwebs that Ronan was "invited" to compete, after being spotted by Sony Music scouts singing at a function for ex Norwich goalkeeping legend Bryan Gunn two years ago, since when he has been groomed by Cowell et al. to be Britains answer to Justin Bieber.

Whether that's true or not is by the by. He looks the part, and despite not winning, will no doubt have a far more successful career than the winner, who takes home a fraction of the phone in revenue for tonight, and gets to sing at the Royal Variety Performance.

W00t

Ronan already has will get a record deal, and already has a legion of adoring fans ready to buy anything he releases. He'll be the real winner if you want to measure success in record sales, column inches exposure. How much money he'll actually receive is another matter entirely.

Whether he's gay or not, or a genuine talent or a hot housed precocious do it for Mummy child star is inconsequential. The little fuckers only twelve.

He may be ready for the attention he's going to get, or maybe Cowell will hide him away for a few months until the rumours die down, but either way, he probably needs to finish growing up before he throws himself at the mercy of the oh so fickle tabloid press.

Maybe I'm just a terrible snob for not liking reality talent shows, or too cynical to take any joy from what they stand for.

To some they are just harmless fun, not the exploitative juggernaut that I view them to be. If people want to make an arse of themselves on national TV, then fair enough, provided they understand the difference between the public are laughing at them, not with them.

And if the viewing public wants to spend their money on voting, good luck to them. The last series of X Factor made over £5 million from phones, and god knows how much more from advertising and sponsorship.

Cowell is a pro. I'm sure he'll do whatever he can to keep Ronan safe and on the straight and narrow, because a fucked up prodigy is no good as an investment.

Britain does have talent, and he's a flat headed high trouser wearing Svengali, and his talent is exploiting everyone he comes into contact with in order to make more money for himself.